The dogwoods and the azaleas have an appearance this year of being luminescent. The colors are wild and bright, but are not making their appearance through warmth – in the way that I imagine usually occurs in Spring………..by way of a certain incandescence.
Normally, Springtime is the time that I shed my SAD. My Seasonal Affective Disorder. My period of melancholy that lasts throughout the winter months…….but is shed not only with the blooms, but with the warmth of the Springtime sun. Spring is usually incandescent by this time. However, this year, it is more luminescent. There are colors……..there is SOME light……..but the warmth is not there. Yet. And it is spilling into my thoughts. I am not nearly as vibrant as I normally am.
Luminescence can be a lovely thing, but I wonder if it has a proper place in this time of the year? Shouldn’t I be feeling the lift of the Wintertime darkness? At this moment, I do not feel it. While the blossoms are lovely, I still feel the gloom of November….December…January….in spite of the luminescent glow of the plant life. It is as if the azaleas are blooming out of sheer obligation, and nothing more. My annual excitement of having the Earth resurrect itself is stunted.
I hope that by my birthday, in just a few more weeks, this luminescent state will become a more incandescent state. Otherwise, the rebirth that was supposed to be Easter, which precedes my birthday, will likely appear to be for naught. And the melancholy deepens. 
