So many assumptions infiltrate our lives: the idea that one knows what another is thinking or feeling, or maybe even what one’s strengths (or, most likely, their WEAKNESSES) are. Assumptions are quite frankly, one of the best ways to promote miscommunications, and equally important, misunderstandings, which lead to poor human relations. Assumptions are deliberate…….thus, when we choose assumptions, we are at risk of deliberately choosing negativity, and thus, in turn, bad relations with each other. Rarely do I ever see POSITIVE assumptions, which is how I am let to my belief in deliberately choosing the negative.
Assumption, in the archaic form, refers to arrogance and presumption. I feel that I saw this in action just yesterday while reading a Facebook post about abortion. Yes, I am aware that social media is a ripe and fertile battleground for this negative connotation to the definition of assumption that I just shared; and so many may view me as being a sappy, sentimental hack. Maybe I am. However, in this exchange, I was truly rendered into silence, which ultimately is not how I am. Usually, I attempt to speak out against rage, but sometimes find myself engaging in the same negative behaviors, and I have attempted to be more ‘aware’ of myself in that arena. However, in this Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice Debate, I folded myself back into the background and simply observed.
A woman spoke up in relation to her own life experience, which undoubtedly molds the opinions and thought processes we all hold. This woman spoke of being adopted as an infant – I do not know the story of her birth mother, but ultimately, the poster spoke of just being glad she was adopted, and seems to have a happy life. Her story does fit right in to the ideal of being pro-choice……..knowing and acknowledging that there are CHOICES in the realm of an unexpected or unwanted pregnancy: this is why Pro-Choice people are Pro-Choice. We, however, do not want to see abortion as being illegal – we must keep it safe and legal, and not force one to be harassed and humiliated, regardless of the direction she takes. This lady who posted about being adopted, in my own view, was simply reinforcing the ideal of having more than one option, as she herself is a product of said options. Her story simply helps to illustrate the point, and I firmly believe that was her sole goal.
However, an acquaintance of mine responded in a way that I found arrogant and presumptive – a quality that I find highly impalpable. The acquaintance’s response chided the person by accusing her of ‘making it all about you’. The undertone was nasty, dismissive and mean spirited – apparently, one is not allowed to utilize their own experiences in such a discussion. This illustration used by the adoptee was purely innocent, in my evaluation – yet arrogance seemed to be the tool used by the responder to belittle not only the statement, but the person making the statement. It was, in my view, abrupt, abrasive, and frankly, cruel. Yes, Responder, you were being arrogant and presumptive. And that, my friends, is how we are in the predicament we are in since long before 2016. It has just all come to a volcanic eruption with lava of hatred and disdain for one another, just like that volcano that is currently exploding in Hawaii.
One piece of positivity in all of this is: I have finally chosen to disengage in certain areas. Over the past year, I have seen for myself that the Donald Trump Mentality of arrogance and disparaging attitudes truly is in all walks of life…..even amongst those that I thought were in ‘my camp’: ‘my camp’ is more than just a failure to vote for or support that Idiot in Chief. It’s a refusal to disparage anyone who speaks, looks, acts, or exists in forms and fashions that is not identical to our own. I have seen over the past year, and have fallen victim to people that I thought were like minded, who in fact are just as hateful as Trump himself is. The plot most certainly thickened for me, as I have been ‘taken to task’ for not expressing myself correctly…..whatever the Hell THAT means. (translation: arrogance emitting from other individuals because maybe they felt I did not express myself appropriately, according to THEIR standards.) In turn, in my observations over the past year, I have come to see some of my own short comings in a much more clear light. Self examination is never easy, but for the past year, and culminating in yesterday’s exchange, I came to realize I, too, have been less than positive since 11/08/2016. Therefore, I fully confess it, and hope to polish myself with the soap and water called Positivity. I have been guilty of disparaging others, and it is not a good trait. I don’t know if it is too late to try to go back and apologize to any of them, but I hope that persons reading this know that I see the error of my own ways by seeing what others have done – not only to me, but to others I do not even know – and it has brought reflections on my own behaviors. I don’t look good dressed in arrogance – it does not fit me well. I think it looks as horrid on me as Camilla’s hat looked on her during Harry and Meghan’s wedding.
Hopefully, this is more than just a baby step in my own corrections in life.